Ambition; it can be perceived as either a blessing or a burden. Smart? Amibition is a logical extension to match your capabilities to your career. No point in having a person with an IQ of 160 working as a cashier. Hard worker? Ambition could be just your own way of compensating for the intelligence you think you possess.
Ambition and the pursuit of the holy grail milk-and-honey degrees, Medicine and Dentistry, go hand in hand. Think of all those wise-ass over achievers from your Year 12 class who got high ATAR marks; what degrees did they go on to? Most of those that weren't robotic memory recall machines went on to the health sciences, Bachelor of Medicine/Surgery, Dentistry. Or they went to law or commerce, but lets not go there.
Those of us who didn't find our footing in Year 12 just followed on blindly, hoping that whatever path we chose next would lead us onto our next passion. Having been to a semi-private high school, most of my cohort who had no idea what was next took a gap year Or did nothing. Not having the financial backing to fuel a year of alcohol-driven apathy, I enrolled into a Bachelor of Science. I hated Science, even Year 12 Chemistry and Biology, much preferring mathematics. But I enrolled anyway.
I coasted through first year Uni; I didn't detest my classes but didn't find anything especially enticing either. Standard first year Bio, Chem and Statistics; the former which was my best subject despite having been taught by a constantly inebriated Soviet statistician.
And then 2nd year started.
I picked all my 2nd year subjects a day before the enrolment was due. I was a bit nervous; nothing in first year inspired me! Chemistry was fun, but a bit dry for my tastes. Stats was challenging and intellectually stimulating, but there was no passion. The only thing that didn't shock me into a procrastinatory-induced coma was biology, more specifically, Human biology.
It wasn't until the end of 2nd year, once I had completed all my Physiology and Biochemistry units, that I started to really enjoy the study of the health sciences. Logically, it wasn't too long after this that I started to think of a career in the clinical aspects of health care as an appropriate profession. But then again, research appealed to me too. Hence, before closing the door and committing to a life-time of helping people, I needed to see whether research was the golden goose that I never groomed. I declined an offer for medicine for 2012 entry (financial reasons, but the aforementioned quagmire helped my reasoning) to do a year of honours in biochemistry.
With less than 3 weeks to my thesis submission, I can honestly say that research isn't for me. Maybe in the future I can take a break for a year or two conducting some clinical research, but in terms of the long haul, I don't see it. Research takes as much dedication as medicine or dentistry, if not more. You don't get the recognition, the financial renumeration or the security; if you think research is safe field, wait until you watch a bunch of 35-40 year olds pulling all nighters on a diet of mi-goreng and redbull to finalize a research grant.
Back to the plot.
A few posts ago, I reasoned that dentistry for me wasn't a good fit since I never had a firm desire to do dentistry. But now that I think about it even more, medicine wasn't something I desired neither; my desire was to work in a field to help people. The more I think about my future, the more I think that declining an offer that I have for an offer I may or may not get next year that hinges on my performance on a high-stakes exam where I'll be competing against the creme-de-la-creme of the tertiary population is a ridiculous notion. My ambition from 2nd Year Undergrad onwards to work towards a profession where I could help people wasn't set in stone for med, and I am sorry to say the prestige and elitism associated with medicine probably clouded this, making me doubt whether a potentially life-changing offer for dentistry is worth the juice.
Hence the title of this post, I am once again changing my mind and am favouring accepting my offer for the post-graduate dental medicine course.
A realization I came to after year in the lab is, I need a job where I can work with my hands. If I want to pursue a surgical career, what better way to train my dexterous fingers than drilling tiny holes in peoples mouths?
Also, one particular field of surgery that ALWAYS rubbed me the right way, was Oral Maxillofacial Surgery, or OMS. OMS surgeons are surgeons that specialize in the head, neck and jaw and the one thing that always appealed to me about OMS is that there is tremendous heterogeneity in the types of cases you are qualified to treat. One day you could get someone with a congential face or cleft palate defect, the next day you could get someone with a metastasized tumour on their jaw which needs to be removed and reconstructed. Pretty awesome right?
That's the juice, now here's the squeeze.
Qualified OMS' hold both Dental AND Medical degrees; furthermore, to be inducted into the rigorous minimum 4-year training program with the Royal Australiasian College of Dental Surgeons (RACDS, www.racds.org), you need to have be registered as a dentist, a medical practitioner, have completed a year of internship AND have completed a year of general surgery. And even then, competition to get in is fierce!
I'm not saying that I'll be one of the select few who be allowed to garnish their John hancock with an FRACDS (OMS), but its something to work toward. Who knows, I might come to love dentistry and might not feel the need to progress to a specialty!
Either way, I'm tired and I need to rest. Any by rest, I mean 'read more journal articles'.
Au Revoir,
MTC
Ps. I know much of this post was already said in previous posts; if you picked up on this then all I can suggest is:
(1) Stop living in the past
(2) Stop reading pointless blogs about some narcissistic loser indulging in his masturbatory fulfillment to savour every precious thought that enters his head.
You're better than that.
Saturday 29 September 2012
Sunday 23 September 2012
"Because Reading isn't supposed to be enjoyed"- Review#1
I am reading. I am supposed to be reading past papers for my thesis, but I am not doing that at the moment. What I have been doing, is reading books that have entirely nothing to do with my thesis; more so, the following review I have prepared has even less to do with my thesis than the actual book I'm reviewing. So basically
Honours thesis procrastination: 1
Common Sense: 0.
Anyway, let me introduce yet another segment called 'Because reading isn't supposed to be enjoyed'. This was a phrase uttered by my Year 12 English teacher who acerbically responded in kind when we asked what the point was to analyzing a Charles Dickens novel (which I actually enjoyed). These reviews will be relatively informal in structure and format. I won't reveal plot spoilers as I know most people won't read unless they have a foreign object to their heads. By my own token, a book review is the identification of parts of a book that appealed to you or angered you to the point of debate; I will not go into the back history of an author (unless its absolutely required). What I will do, is give you my own $0.02 on what I think are the good and bad points of a piece of writing. If you're one of the few these days who enjoy reading instead of posting instagram'd photos of your dinner on facebook, then I apologize for my bare-bones reviews. Its not you, its me.
Todays book is "A Drink Before The War", by Dennis Lehane.
I recently wrapped up reading 'A Drink Before The War', the first of a series of PI-based novels written by the Boston Shakespeare himself, Dennis Lehane. Some people may be more familiar with the film adaptations of his work (which I understand, I was constantly visualizing scenes from his prose. Indicative of a great writer!) such as 'Mystic River' (good), 'Shutter Island' (great) or 'Gone Baby Gone' (BEST!). Its worth noting that 'Gone Baby Gone' is a down-the-line sequel of sorts to 'A Drink Before The War'. I haven't read 'Gone Baby Gone' but if the film adaptation is as faithful to the book as its spouted to be, then I am anticipating a great read.
I'm not going to go into specifics but the plot of the story goes like this; crooked politicians who use the peasants of working class Boston as toilet paper hire Patrick McKenzie, a PI (private investigator) to retrieve the whereabouts of a former disgruntled employee who up and vanishes out of nowhere with some potentially devastating documents. With the help of his trusty, takes-no-sh!t-from-a-plumber partner Angie Genarro, Patrick embarks on a journey that reveals the disparities between the lower and higher class, black and whites and guns and pepper-spray (#inside[book]joke).
Like most detective novels that try to tread the fine line between exploitation and social commentary, this book is heavy on twisty dialogue that occasionally collapses into soap-boxing. When done poorly, this type of dialogue is affable. Fortunately for Mr Lehane, he is particularly gifted in writing witty back and forths that seem stylized but not to the point that you feel you're stuck in a Tarantino film (btw; I LOVE Quentin Tarantino). I must be honest in saying that Patrick isn't particularly interesting a character; he has the archetypal patricidal fantasies of his late abusive daddy dearest fueling his tough-as-nails persona and he seems to have as much depth as a .45mm hollow point (isn't it great what you learn from books on police procedurals?). Ironically enough, he isn't the tough guy in this book. Not by a long shot.
Angie. ANGIE is the tough guy. And herein lies the appeal.
The relationship between Angie and Patrick is the driving force behind this book; if it wasn't for their flirty back and forth at the beginning, a simple find and retrieve that unravels in the first quarter of the book would be a bore. Also, if it wasn't for their camaraderie to each other, the ending of this book would seem ludicrously sentimental and contrived. Angie, unlike her partner in crime, actually has some depth to her; she takes no crap from anyone (even State Senators) yet unwittingly puts up with her castigating husband of 12 years without once retaliating to his tortuous abuse. An interesting side development is her rising to this obstacle, which was for me anyway, one of the highlights of the book.
Like most great pulp fiction, he uses the plot to highlight universal themes that relate to the human condition; some themes I identified include classism, racism, sexism and justice. For example, in one section a vicious gang leader who is implicated in a child prostitution ring is shot by Patrick. Another man, a senator's-aide, who is just as culpable as the gang leader, is indicted. Patrick was responsible for shooting the former but when questioned by Angie why he didn't feel like he wanted to shoot the latter, who was even more accountable than the gang leader, he simply replied: "he's civilized". Ethically, this presents one with a dilemma that can be applied anywhere; does someones treatment correlate to their social status? On one hand, both men perpetrated socially and morally despicable acts, yet one is murdered in cold blood and theres is no remorse, whilst the other is investigated. Is it because the uncivilized gang member, who was brought up in a disenfranchised environment that doesn't value the morality that middle and upper-class Bostonian's embraced, only understands capital punishment?
Final Verdict: READ IT!
You're welcome.
MTC
Honours thesis procrastination: 1
Common Sense: 0.
Anyway, let me introduce yet another segment called 'Because reading isn't supposed to be enjoyed'. This was a phrase uttered by my Year 12 English teacher who acerbically responded in kind when we asked what the point was to analyzing a Charles Dickens novel (which I actually enjoyed). These reviews will be relatively informal in structure and format. I won't reveal plot spoilers as I know most people won't read unless they have a foreign object to their heads. By my own token, a book review is the identification of parts of a book that appealed to you or angered you to the point of debate; I will not go into the back history of an author (unless its absolutely required). What I will do, is give you my own $0.02 on what I think are the good and bad points of a piece of writing. If you're one of the few these days who enjoy reading instead of posting instagram'd photos of your dinner on facebook, then I apologize for my bare-bones reviews. Its not you, its me.
Todays book is "A Drink Before The War", by Dennis Lehane.
I recently wrapped up reading 'A Drink Before The War', the first of a series of PI-based novels written by the Boston Shakespeare himself, Dennis Lehane. Some people may be more familiar with the film adaptations of his work (which I understand, I was constantly visualizing scenes from his prose. Indicative of a great writer!) such as 'Mystic River' (good), 'Shutter Island' (great) or 'Gone Baby Gone' (BEST!). Its worth noting that 'Gone Baby Gone' is a down-the-line sequel of sorts to 'A Drink Before The War'. I haven't read 'Gone Baby Gone' but if the film adaptation is as faithful to the book as its spouted to be, then I am anticipating a great read.
I'm not going to go into specifics but the plot of the story goes like this; crooked politicians who use the peasants of working class Boston as toilet paper hire Patrick McKenzie, a PI (private investigator) to retrieve the whereabouts of a former disgruntled employee who up and vanishes out of nowhere with some potentially devastating documents. With the help of his trusty, takes-no-sh!t-from-a-plumber partner Angie Genarro, Patrick embarks on a journey that reveals the disparities between the lower and higher class, black and whites and guns and pepper-spray (#inside[book]joke).
Like most detective novels that try to tread the fine line between exploitation and social commentary, this book is heavy on twisty dialogue that occasionally collapses into soap-boxing. When done poorly, this type of dialogue is affable. Fortunately for Mr Lehane, he is particularly gifted in writing witty back and forths that seem stylized but not to the point that you feel you're stuck in a Tarantino film (btw; I LOVE Quentin Tarantino). I must be honest in saying that Patrick isn't particularly interesting a character; he has the archetypal patricidal fantasies of his late abusive daddy dearest fueling his tough-as-nails persona and he seems to have as much depth as a .45mm hollow point (isn't it great what you learn from books on police procedurals?). Ironically enough, he isn't the tough guy in this book. Not by a long shot.
Angie. ANGIE is the tough guy. And herein lies the appeal.
The relationship between Angie and Patrick is the driving force behind this book; if it wasn't for their flirty back and forth at the beginning, a simple find and retrieve that unravels in the first quarter of the book would be a bore. Also, if it wasn't for their camaraderie to each other, the ending of this book would seem ludicrously sentimental and contrived. Angie, unlike her partner in crime, actually has some depth to her; she takes no crap from anyone (even State Senators) yet unwittingly puts up with her castigating husband of 12 years without once retaliating to his tortuous abuse. An interesting side development is her rising to this obstacle, which was for me anyway, one of the highlights of the book.
Like most great pulp fiction, he uses the plot to highlight universal themes that relate to the human condition; some themes I identified include classism, racism, sexism and justice. For example, in one section a vicious gang leader who is implicated in a child prostitution ring is shot by Patrick. Another man, a senator's-aide, who is just as culpable as the gang leader, is indicted. Patrick was responsible for shooting the former but when questioned by Angie why he didn't feel like he wanted to shoot the latter, who was even more accountable than the gang leader, he simply replied: "he's civilized". Ethically, this presents one with a dilemma that can be applied anywhere; does someones treatment correlate to their social status? On one hand, both men perpetrated socially and morally despicable acts, yet one is murdered in cold blood and theres is no remorse, whilst the other is investigated. Is it because the uncivilized gang member, who was brought up in a disenfranchised environment that doesn't value the morality that middle and upper-class Bostonian's embraced, only understands capital punishment?
Final Verdict: READ IT!
You're welcome.
MTC
Tuesday 18 September 2012
Decisions, Decisions
The last 48 hours have been somewhat enlightening and
distressing all at the same time; do I dare take on a course that I really had
no desire to pursue which requires just as much dedication and sacrifice as
medicine? Or do I take a great risk and commit myself to try and ace one of the
most rigorous tests put forth to undergraduates (GAMSAT).
Firstly, I must apologize to those whose true calling is dentistry; no beef here, its just something that never appealed to me as much as medicine. I spoke to a good family friend of mine who is in their 2nd year of post-graduate dentistry and asked them what the difference is between dentistry and medicine (apart from the obvious); they bluntly responded “at the end of a long day of study, med students go out and forget what they’ve learnt with a casual drink. Dent students go home and learn why alcohol is damaging to the gums!” Dentistry, like medicine, requires a passion to the vocation because once the excitement of gaining entry and moving into somewhere new wanes, which I’ve heard occurs within the first month of entry, you’ll only have your passion for your field to get you out of bed every morning.
After much deliberation, I have concluded that I will decline my provisional dentistry CSP offer and work next year. Despite the fact I haven’t landed a job yet, my decision isn’t to work but more so to enable a summer of free studying. The decision I have reached wasn’t reached in haste and taking all things into account, is really the best decision in the long run. It also comes with the altruistic sense that I’ll be relinquishing my offer to someone who actually has a strong desire to study dentistry (Applause at the end, please).
This coming summer will be a tough one, I will have to discipline myself to strictly adhere to a consistent regiment of comprehensive study where I will focus on understanding the mechanics behind concepts rather than the facts that define them. I will aim to have a substantial amount of study done by the 2013 Australian GAMSAT, but if all things go lopsided and I don’t get a great score, then I’ll have the 2013 UK GAMSAT to study for.
All in all, I have made too many decisions in my life where I’ve settled for second best; choosing something else over medicine won’t be one of them.
Yours in confidence,
MTC
Firstly, I must apologize to those whose true calling is dentistry; no beef here, its just something that never appealed to me as much as medicine. I spoke to a good family friend of mine who is in their 2nd year of post-graduate dentistry and asked them what the difference is between dentistry and medicine (apart from the obvious); they bluntly responded “at the end of a long day of study, med students go out and forget what they’ve learnt with a casual drink. Dent students go home and learn why alcohol is damaging to the gums!” Dentistry, like medicine, requires a passion to the vocation because once the excitement of gaining entry and moving into somewhere new wanes, which I’ve heard occurs within the first month of entry, you’ll only have your passion for your field to get you out of bed every morning.
After much deliberation, I have concluded that I will decline my provisional dentistry CSP offer and work next year. Despite the fact I haven’t landed a job yet, my decision isn’t to work but more so to enable a summer of free studying. The decision I have reached wasn’t reached in haste and taking all things into account, is really the best decision in the long run. It also comes with the altruistic sense that I’ll be relinquishing my offer to someone who actually has a strong desire to study dentistry (Applause at the end, please).
This coming summer will be a tough one, I will have to discipline myself to strictly adhere to a consistent regiment of comprehensive study where I will focus on understanding the mechanics behind concepts rather than the facts that define them. I will aim to have a substantial amount of study done by the 2013 Australian GAMSAT, but if all things go lopsided and I don’t get a great score, then I’ll have the 2013 UK GAMSAT to study for.
All in all, I have made too many decisions in my life where I’ve settled for second best; choosing something else over medicine won’t be one of them.
Yours in confidence,
MTC
Sunday 16 September 2012
Dilemma
I have a pile of lab work to do. I have an everest of FACS
data to churn through. AND, I have a thesis to write.
But that’s not what’s on my mind right now. I certainly came in to my lab this morning to pursue these tasks, but one thing has changed between then and now.
One e-mail. It could’ve been another clearance email from Barnes and Noble, or it could have been another email from my alma mater’s alumni association inviting me to some drab drink session I wouldn’t bother going to.
No.
This was different. Something wrong, something criminal upset the balance.
USyd is the culprit; provisional offer to the Doctor of Dental Medicine (DMD) is the charge. I went to the University of Sydney in July to interview for the DMD as a practice run for the MMI (my previous interview experience is in the Semi-structured Interview format). I was hoping that this practice would help my interview from the GEMSAS consortium. The only problem? I didn’t get an interview offer!
My first reaction upon reading the email? Delight. I’m not going to sit here and pretend that Dentistry hasn’t piqued my interest at one time or another; I’ve always considered dentistry as an extension of medicine rather than a separate entity. I must also confess, until now I considered the post-graduate dental programs as intellectually and prestigiously inferior to the medical programs. That was until I actually spoke to a dental student and was told of the ridiculously long hours they spend, especially in Year 1, studying the same material the med students have to and more. Further reading onto the DMD wetted my appetite for lab work procrastination, where I discovered the extensive research component of the course.
Before I go off enrolling into Dent and buying my golden plated retractors (if that’s what they use), I have to concede that my ultimate goal for 2013 was to be enrolled into a graduate medical program. Having relinquished an offer for 2012 entry to take on a year of honours research to try and better my GAMSAT for a University that wouldn’t require an upheaval of my personal life, I feel the offer for Dent is an omen, an opportunity to rectify the same mistake I made last year. Who am I to pick which course, let alone which university I choose to study? Just to be accepted should be an honour in itself!
But alas, there is a bigger issue at stake, and that is; what do I do with the next few years of my life? Despite the fact I will graduate at the end of this year with a Bachelor of Science (Honours ) degree which I can add to my undergraduate Bachelor of Science degree, I don’t think I envisioned my professional career to end up as an RA or in acadaemia. I have nothing against the two, I think they are both noble professions and by no account are they easy (quite the opposite, especially acadaemia!), I just think I saw myself dealing with people directly than with their molecular constituents.
As such, I have the following options to consider:
(1) I could decline the DMD offer, work as an RA next year whilst studying arduously for the AU GAMSAT 2013, and if necessary, UK GAMSAT 2013 to ensure I secure a GAMSAT score that will make me competitive for a graduate medical program I’d like to attend.
(2) I could continue my research studies and undertake a PhD. My lab supervisors have expressed a great interest in me continuing with a PhD, but it’s not a decision that one makes in haste. A PhD is realistically, a 4-year commitment of your life where you’ll be paid around the minimum wage mark (if you’re lucky) to get a result that may or may not have any clinical or biological significance. If I was going to consider studying for 4 more years, at least the DMD would reward me with a degree that could get me a lucrative job upon graduation
(3) I could accept the DMD offer and be conferred a dental degree 4 years later. Presumably, this is the most sensible choice as;
(i) with the trends for graduate health science admissions on the increase and more schools moving to the Melbourne model, the competition to get a spot at any of the graduate programs is a perennial challenge in itself,
(ii) I could get some of the basic life sciences covered and improve my logical and clinical reasoning by having to critically assess information as a clinician, even if that may be a dentist (although Med & Dent are two different degrees, I’m sure that the critical and logical reasoning skills you develop in either are transferrable). Furthermore, I could still apply for a medical degree after my dental degree (if I feel that dentistry isn’t my passion) and support myself with part-time dental work rather than rely on government benefits. Furthermore, the possession of both degrees would make me eligible to pursue a specialty in Oral and Maxillofacial Surgery (should I choose to pursue that path), which you can’t pursue if you only have a medical degree.
Either way, at this point the DMD sounds like the most sensible choice. Some may read this blog and think I’m just settling on dentistry because I wasn’t good enough to get a medical interview. I like to think of it as me taste-testing different career paths before I settle on one. I am 23, which to some may seem old, but is relatively young in the grand scheme of things. If I was to pursue both dent and med, and still hope to specialize in either, I wouldn’t be a fully fledged consultant until I reached my late 30’s/early 40’s. Given that the median age of retirement for specialists is around 65 (don’t have the data but its on Pubmed somewhere..trust me :) ), 25 years of practice doesn’t sound too bad considering I would have ended up in a profession I was passionate about rather than one I merely fell into.
If you feel that every year missed on a potential graduate medical place feels like another year wasted, please heed the words of the visionary Steve Jobs (R.I.P):
But that’s not what’s on my mind right now. I certainly came in to my lab this morning to pursue these tasks, but one thing has changed between then and now.
One e-mail. It could’ve been another clearance email from Barnes and Noble, or it could have been another email from my alma mater’s alumni association inviting me to some drab drink session I wouldn’t bother going to.
No.
This was different. Something wrong, something criminal upset the balance.
USyd is the culprit; provisional offer to the Doctor of Dental Medicine (DMD) is the charge. I went to the University of Sydney in July to interview for the DMD as a practice run for the MMI (my previous interview experience is in the Semi-structured Interview format). I was hoping that this practice would help my interview from the GEMSAS consortium. The only problem? I didn’t get an interview offer!
My first reaction upon reading the email? Delight. I’m not going to sit here and pretend that Dentistry hasn’t piqued my interest at one time or another; I’ve always considered dentistry as an extension of medicine rather than a separate entity. I must also confess, until now I considered the post-graduate dental programs as intellectually and prestigiously inferior to the medical programs. That was until I actually spoke to a dental student and was told of the ridiculously long hours they spend, especially in Year 1, studying the same material the med students have to and more. Further reading onto the DMD wetted my appetite for lab work procrastination, where I discovered the extensive research component of the course.
Before I go off enrolling into Dent and buying my golden plated retractors (if that’s what they use), I have to concede that my ultimate goal for 2013 was to be enrolled into a graduate medical program. Having relinquished an offer for 2012 entry to take on a year of honours research to try and better my GAMSAT for a University that wouldn’t require an upheaval of my personal life, I feel the offer for Dent is an omen, an opportunity to rectify the same mistake I made last year. Who am I to pick which course, let alone which university I choose to study? Just to be accepted should be an honour in itself!
But alas, there is a bigger issue at stake, and that is; what do I do with the next few years of my life? Despite the fact I will graduate at the end of this year with a Bachelor of Science (Honours ) degree which I can add to my undergraduate Bachelor of Science degree, I don’t think I envisioned my professional career to end up as an RA or in acadaemia. I have nothing against the two, I think they are both noble professions and by no account are they easy (quite the opposite, especially acadaemia!), I just think I saw myself dealing with people directly than with their molecular constituents.
As such, I have the following options to consider:
(1) I could decline the DMD offer, work as an RA next year whilst studying arduously for the AU GAMSAT 2013, and if necessary, UK GAMSAT 2013 to ensure I secure a GAMSAT score that will make me competitive for a graduate medical program I’d like to attend.
(2) I could continue my research studies and undertake a PhD. My lab supervisors have expressed a great interest in me continuing with a PhD, but it’s not a decision that one makes in haste. A PhD is realistically, a 4-year commitment of your life where you’ll be paid around the minimum wage mark (if you’re lucky) to get a result that may or may not have any clinical or biological significance. If I was going to consider studying for 4 more years, at least the DMD would reward me with a degree that could get me a lucrative job upon graduation
(3) I could accept the DMD offer and be conferred a dental degree 4 years later. Presumably, this is the most sensible choice as;
(i) with the trends for graduate health science admissions on the increase and more schools moving to the Melbourne model, the competition to get a spot at any of the graduate programs is a perennial challenge in itself,
(ii) I could get some of the basic life sciences covered and improve my logical and clinical reasoning by having to critically assess information as a clinician, even if that may be a dentist (although Med & Dent are two different degrees, I’m sure that the critical and logical reasoning skills you develop in either are transferrable). Furthermore, I could still apply for a medical degree after my dental degree (if I feel that dentistry isn’t my passion) and support myself with part-time dental work rather than rely on government benefits. Furthermore, the possession of both degrees would make me eligible to pursue a specialty in Oral and Maxillofacial Surgery (should I choose to pursue that path), which you can’t pursue if you only have a medical degree.
Either way, at this point the DMD sounds like the most sensible choice. Some may read this blog and think I’m just settling on dentistry because I wasn’t good enough to get a medical interview. I like to think of it as me taste-testing different career paths before I settle on one. I am 23, which to some may seem old, but is relatively young in the grand scheme of things. If I was to pursue both dent and med, and still hope to specialize in either, I wouldn’t be a fully fledged consultant until I reached my late 30’s/early 40’s. Given that the median age of retirement for specialists is around 65 (don’t have the data but its on Pubmed somewhere..trust me :) ), 25 years of practice doesn’t sound too bad considering I would have ended up in a profession I was passionate about rather than one I merely fell into.
If you feel that every year missed on a potential graduate medical place feels like another year wasted, please heed the words of the visionary Steve Jobs (R.I.P):
Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”
Your indecisive blogger,
MTC
Wednesday 12 September 2012
Thesis D-Day: 46 Days left till deployment/submission
I am an honours slave student and am getting to the C-terminus* end of my first year into biomedical research. I have a thesis to write up, 12,000 words, that is due in 44 days (October 29). So yeah, I'm stressing about it.
In future posts I will elaborate more on this epic year and all the things I've learnt, but all I can do now isabuse my iCal to try and fit in all my experiments I need to do by the 1st of October. The way its looking now, I should get used to doing 16 hour days in the lab. On a positive note, at least the foundations of the long hours I will be enduring during medical training (should I get in) are being laid now!
MTC
*- C-Terminus, also known as the carboxy-terminus, is a free-carboxyl group that is attached to the end of an amino acid chain (peptide).
In future posts I will elaborate more on this epic year and all the things I've learnt, but all I can do now is
MTC
*- C-Terminus, also known as the carboxy-terminus, is a free-carboxyl group that is attached to the end of an amino acid chain (peptide).
Wednesday 5 September 2012
Getting to Know Your Blogger: Pt. 1
Amidst all the hubbub and drudgery of obsessing over the GAMSAT, talking about studying for the GAMSAT, identifying themes in study routines from people who ace the GAMSAT,... and generally obsessing over anything written on the world-wide web ending in SAT (provided it starts with a G), one generally starts to lose grip of the things that keeps them grounded. Not this blogger. For I, in good fortune wish to imprint my personality upon my faithful followers, (that's right, all three of you! {present company excluded} ) so you don't define me as just another pathologically narcissistic guy blogging about his quest to get into Med. So here it goes, in a segment I like to derivatively call; 'Getting to Know Your Blogger'.
I love films, not movies, films. Films are a unique form of expression that succeed in the pitfalls of other art devices; in the Scientific sense, films are the Real-Time Quantitative PCR to the inferior agarose gels of the painting/music/photography consortium. Furthermore, I do not restrict my film smorgasbord to just the Australian and American delights; quite the opposite! If I was to post my top-ten films of all time right now, only a true film buff would be able to identify more than half of them. One thing that I find astonishing about film is its ability to transcend language, culture and time. If you don't believe me, watch the recently released vampire movie 'Let The Right One In' based on the Swedish novel ' Let Me In' (Hollywood later made an adaptation of the Swedish film named after the novel; shame since the Swedish film is light years ahead of its American orthologue). I watched it on DVD with a copy that didn't have any subtitles, and despite this, the perfect movement of the camera, the pitch perfect desolate tone and the superb acting showed me everything I needed to know sans translation! Here was a tragic tale of sordid loneliness, despair and isolation that reverberated within my sensibilities weeks after that initial viewing.If the tragic story of Oskar the lonely 12-year old were a psalm written in Swedish, or a song caroled in the native language, would I have been as moved by the story? Probably not as much, but then that would encourage me to take up Swedish.
I'm not going to dwell on an arthouse vampire movie that dare not mention the 'V' word. I will be presenting you with a slice of French New-Wave cinema. Watch the below clip, courtesy of youtube, taken from the seminal 1962 french gangster film 'Le Doulos'. To put this scene into context, Silien (Jean Paul Belmondo) is a thug who may or may not be a police informant and has just caught wind of a possible windfall of his recently-incarcerated-but-now released friend, Maurice. Wanting to know exactly where the deed is going down, Silien decides to pay Maurice's lady friend a visit..
-|
To fully understand the impact of this scene, one must put a few things into context:
- The actor in this scene, Jean Paul Belmondo, was up until this point seen as a 'good guy gone bad' thanks to his breakthrough performance in the landmark French New Wave film 'A Bout De Souffle' where he essentially played 'James Dean in Gay Paris' (no pun intended). His career up to this point consisted of playing the same character, a man who will fight to do whats right even if that action is wrong.
But, not in this film! The writer-director, Jean Pierre Melville (A GOD!), knew EXACTLY what he was doing when he cast JPBelmondo. He played the audiences expectations of his previous characters to startle and shock them when it turns out, (i) he really is a very very bad guy, and (ii) he will do bad things that were relatively unseen on the silver screen to get what he needs. To draw some kind of comparison, imagine if in the next Clint Eastwood Boston set drama saga, Hugh Jackman (yes..the Boy From Oz) played a down on his luck dole bludger who was just trying to find his buddy that owed him money. Suppose in one scene 'The Boy From Oz' slaps up his buddy's partner within an inch of their life in a brutal display. I don't think Oprah would be inviting him back anytime soon!
- Despite the actors own abjections to his supposed 'ugly' facial features, there was a time when his smooth smile and cool demeanor wooed more French skirts than a Paris express metro! Notice how in this scene JPMelville goes into close frames to show the million dollar smile in between smacks. He is manipulating the connection between our mind and our eyes; our eyes are saying 'look at those pearly whites, how could he be bad!?' whilst our mind is telling us 'HELP!'.
-Notice the flow of the camera at the beginning of the scene; as he is welcomed into the apartment, there are very abrupt and distinct cuts as the camera transitions between JPBelmondo and the poor lady. As he welcomes himself in, he walks scoping the room for 'something'. We see a 'lightbulb' moment as he resigns on a choice (which we later learn is in fact the radiator which he uses to humiliatingly restrain his victim) and the camera follows in one elegant continuous loop to him settling comfortably into a chair. I'll admit that this isn't something I picked up from an initial viewing, but after seeing this movie a few times I concur that this could be done by the director to show this 'performance' of misogyny is merely an expression of calculating, executed power to get the information he needs.
-The use of sound in this scene is second to none, only bettered by Quentin Tarantino and Brian De Palma (both masters of suspense). Notice how the tempo in the background music builds, hitting a crescendo when he finally inflict the initial brutal smack. This isn't by accident; up until now you are well aware you're in a movie, safe and relatively far from what's happening. But once that music comes off, this is the director saying; "no more passive viewing, you're in the room too." Within 2 seconds, you are instantly teleported into the far side of that room, witnessing the brutal attacks that are to come with uncomfortable immediacy. Whilst this seems tame by todays standards, back in 1962, where every scene of violence had a symphony orchestra to comfortably remind you of your distance from the exploits being shown, this would have been like torture!
All in all, this is a great film with archetypal characters that don't fulfill the archetypes they are inspired from. You might wonder, why did I spend all this time analyzing a 5 minute scene from a jurassic-age French movie starring 'that guy my nanna's European babysitter had a crush-on?'
WHY NOT!?!?
But seriously, I refuse to let the intense pressures of honours and the pressure of graduate entry medicine repress my interests. This is just one of many.
Hope All is Well!
MTC
I love films, not movies, films. Films are a unique form of expression that succeed in the pitfalls of other art devices; in the Scientific sense, films are the Real-Time Quantitative PCR to the inferior agarose gels of the painting/music/photography consortium. Furthermore, I do not restrict my film smorgasbord to just the Australian and American delights; quite the opposite! If I was to post my top-ten films of all time right now, only a true film buff would be able to identify more than half of them. One thing that I find astonishing about film is its ability to transcend language, culture and time. If you don't believe me, watch the recently released vampire movie 'Let The Right One In' based on the Swedish novel ' Let Me In' (Hollywood later made an adaptation of the Swedish film named after the novel; shame since the Swedish film is light years ahead of its American orthologue). I watched it on DVD with a copy that didn't have any subtitles, and despite this, the perfect movement of the camera, the pitch perfect desolate tone and the superb acting showed me everything I needed to know sans translation! Here was a tragic tale of sordid loneliness, despair and isolation that reverberated within my sensibilities weeks after that initial viewing.If the tragic story of Oskar the lonely 12-year old were a psalm written in Swedish, or a song caroled in the native language, would I have been as moved by the story? Probably not as much, but then that would encourage me to take up Swedish.
I'm not going to dwell on an arthouse vampire movie that dare not mention the 'V' word. I will be presenting you with a slice of French New-Wave cinema. Watch the below clip, courtesy of youtube, taken from the seminal 1962 french gangster film 'Le Doulos'. To put this scene into context, Silien (Jean Paul Belmondo) is a thug who may or may not be a police informant and has just caught wind of a possible windfall of his recently-incarcerated-but-now released friend, Maurice. Wanting to know exactly where the deed is going down, Silien decides to pay Maurice's lady friend a visit..
-|
To fully understand the impact of this scene, one must put a few things into context:
- The actor in this scene, Jean Paul Belmondo, was up until this point seen as a 'good guy gone bad' thanks to his breakthrough performance in the landmark French New Wave film 'A Bout De Souffle' where he essentially played 'James Dean in Gay Paris' (no pun intended). His career up to this point consisted of playing the same character, a man who will fight to do whats right even if that action is wrong.
But, not in this film! The writer-director, Jean Pierre Melville (A GOD!), knew EXACTLY what he was doing when he cast JPBelmondo. He played the audiences expectations of his previous characters to startle and shock them when it turns out, (i) he really is a very very bad guy, and (ii) he will do bad things that were relatively unseen on the silver screen to get what he needs. To draw some kind of comparison, imagine if in the next Clint Eastwood Boston set drama saga, Hugh Jackman (yes..the Boy From Oz) played a down on his luck dole bludger who was just trying to find his buddy that owed him money. Suppose in one scene 'The Boy From Oz' slaps up his buddy's partner within an inch of their life in a brutal display. I don't think Oprah would be inviting him back anytime soon!
- Despite the actors own abjections to his supposed 'ugly' facial features, there was a time when his smooth smile and cool demeanor wooed more French skirts than a Paris express metro! Notice how in this scene JPMelville goes into close frames to show the million dollar smile in between smacks. He is manipulating the connection between our mind and our eyes; our eyes are saying 'look at those pearly whites, how could he be bad!?' whilst our mind is telling us 'HELP!'.
-Notice the flow of the camera at the beginning of the scene; as he is welcomed into the apartment, there are very abrupt and distinct cuts as the camera transitions between JPBelmondo and the poor lady. As he welcomes himself in, he walks scoping the room for 'something'. We see a 'lightbulb' moment as he resigns on a choice (which we later learn is in fact the radiator which he uses to humiliatingly restrain his victim) and the camera follows in one elegant continuous loop to him settling comfortably into a chair. I'll admit that this isn't something I picked up from an initial viewing, but after seeing this movie a few times I concur that this could be done by the director to show this 'performance' of misogyny is merely an expression of calculating, executed power to get the information he needs.
-The use of sound in this scene is second to none, only bettered by Quentin Tarantino and Brian De Palma (both masters of suspense). Notice how the tempo in the background music builds, hitting a crescendo when he finally inflict the initial brutal smack. This isn't by accident; up until now you are well aware you're in a movie, safe and relatively far from what's happening. But once that music comes off, this is the director saying; "no more passive viewing, you're in the room too." Within 2 seconds, you are instantly teleported into the far side of that room, witnessing the brutal attacks that are to come with uncomfortable immediacy. Whilst this seems tame by todays standards, back in 1962, where every scene of violence had a symphony orchestra to comfortably remind you of your distance from the exploits being shown, this would have been like torture!
All in all, this is a great film with archetypal characters that don't fulfill the archetypes they are inspired from. You might wonder, why did I spend all this time analyzing a 5 minute scene from a jurassic-age French movie starring 'that guy my nanna's European babysitter had a crush-on?'
WHY NOT!?!?
But seriously, I refuse to let the intense pressures of honours and the pressure of graduate entry medicine repress my interests. This is just one of many.
Hope All is Well!
MTC
Saturday 1 September 2012
"Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today": A Biomedical Science students plunge to the humanities and social sciences
For anyone who is serious about getting into a post-graduate
medical program in Australia, Paging Dr is a gold mine for useful information.
Wanting to completely procrastinate from the everest of lab work my supervisor
demands of me, I began trawling the forum for some tidbits that might aid my
soon-to-be summer of study.
Section III is usually the section that most people will focus on for study, and it makes sense; it's much easier to identify topics to study for Organic Chemistry than trying to figure which Penguin Classic Novel will be probed on the next GAMSAT or which Nietzche quote will be the stimulus for SII. However, neglecting to improve SI would be like training for a triathlon without touching a bike until event day. Also, the study for SI might even translate to a higher score in SIII; remember, the GAMSAT is a measure of your logical reasoning, not your memory.
I’ll admit, being a Bachelor of Science graduate, and a Biomedical Science Honours student, Section III should be my best section. Unfortunately, I’ve never bettered 62 for SIII; ironically enough, the tepid, boring Science student who’s supposed to be a mediocre communicator got two back-to-back scores over 70 for SII. However, the one section I’ve never been able to crack higher than 58 is SI, reasoning in humanities and social sciences. Surely if I managed to get around 70 for ALL sections, that would no doubt bump up my score to something I could be confident applying with.
One thing that I’ve noticed for high achievers on SI is that the majority are either Bachelor of Arts, Bachelor of Commerce or Bachelor of Law students (I’m not saying BSc or BBiomed students don’t do well). They all maintain high scores in this section, which just goes to show that the GAMSAT is anything BUT biased against have students from a non-Science background, especially if you want to go to UoMelb who only weighs SIII equally.
The concepts within these degrees aren’t too different from those you’d learn in a Science or Biomedical Science degree; for example, an understanding of how a mutation in the liver enzyme Glucose-6-Phosphatase can present clinically as a build-up of fat and glycogen isn’t too far off from say, understanding how a change in the quality of a previously highly desired product can affect the supply-demand relationship for retailers and consumers alike (as you can tell I’ve done absolutely NO economics or commerce since Year 11, when I accidentally walked into the wrong room where Year 11 commerce was taught). But further reading into a commerce text will reveal that the concepts require a more global understanding of a system whereas in Science, the constant attempt to discern the intricacies of a specific pathway can get you lost as to the actual place of this pathway in a more universal scale (for me anyway).
Another thing that I’ve noticed is that most of the mistakes I made with the ACER material for SI were consistently because of my failure to recognize the context of the question being asked within the entire situation of the stimuli, not just the paragraph or sentence from which it is being taken. Granted, by the time I did the ACER practice tests this year I was so mentally exhausted I barely had the energy to fling the book across the room, but after the release of GAMSAT results this year I reviewed my answers and identified this. Not a big discovery, but a discovery nonetheless.
So, where to go from here? One could be stubborn and concede that SI is genetically pre-determined and what you get is all the reasoning in humanities and social sciences you will ever achieve. Another way to take it would be to see whether the study of some economics or law, which aren’t as technical as scientific concepts (Organic Chem anyone?) but still need some familiarity, can actually encourage this ‘global’ thinking that will enable a higher score on the GAMSAT. It makes sense that SI requires this of potential candidates, as you don’t want a doctor who’s going to tell you about some anomaly within your biological makeup without thinking (i) how its going to affect your lifestyle, (ii) how its going to affect your future, and (iii) how these ramifications are going to affect you (psychologically, as well as practically; I’m thinking Type 1Diabetics and regular insulin shots?).
To remedy this, I bought an ‘economics’ textbook from a Co-Op bookshop that will act as my introduction to a subject I learned about for a brief 4 seconds in Year 11. It may put another workload on top of my Science studying and may not make a difference, but if anything at least by the end concepts like ‘Keynesian Interest Rate Theory’ will not be alien to me.
I’ve always believed that obtaining a good SI score has always been about luck; I also believe that the harder I work, the luckier I get (2012 GAMSAT study excepted). In good SII practice to back-up my contention, I will leave you with a quote from someone I have never heard of but puts what I think into a more elegant rhetoric;
“The only thing that overcomes hard luck is hard work.”
-Harry Golden
Success and nothing less.
MTC
Ps. Props to Mark Twain for the title quote, definitely a reader you should check out.
Section III is usually the section that most people will focus on for study, and it makes sense; it's much easier to identify topics to study for Organic Chemistry than trying to figure which Penguin Classic Novel will be probed on the next GAMSAT or which Nietzche quote will be the stimulus for SII. However, neglecting to improve SI would be like training for a triathlon without touching a bike until event day. Also, the study for SI might even translate to a higher score in SIII; remember, the GAMSAT is a measure of your logical reasoning, not your memory.
I’ll admit, being a Bachelor of Science graduate, and a Biomedical Science Honours student, Section III should be my best section. Unfortunately, I’ve never bettered 62 for SIII; ironically enough, the tepid, boring Science student who’s supposed to be a mediocre communicator got two back-to-back scores over 70 for SII. However, the one section I’ve never been able to crack higher than 58 is SI, reasoning in humanities and social sciences. Surely if I managed to get around 70 for ALL sections, that would no doubt bump up my score to something I could be confident applying with.
One thing that I’ve noticed for high achievers on SI is that the majority are either Bachelor of Arts, Bachelor of Commerce or Bachelor of Law students (I’m not saying BSc or BBiomed students don’t do well). They all maintain high scores in this section, which just goes to show that the GAMSAT is anything BUT biased against have students from a non-Science background, especially if you want to go to UoMelb who only weighs SIII equally.
The concepts within these degrees aren’t too different from those you’d learn in a Science or Biomedical Science degree; for example, an understanding of how a mutation in the liver enzyme Glucose-6-Phosphatase can present clinically as a build-up of fat and glycogen isn’t too far off from say, understanding how a change in the quality of a previously highly desired product can affect the supply-demand relationship for retailers and consumers alike (as you can tell I’ve done absolutely NO economics or commerce since Year 11, when I accidentally walked into the wrong room where Year 11 commerce was taught). But further reading into a commerce text will reveal that the concepts require a more global understanding of a system whereas in Science, the constant attempt to discern the intricacies of a specific pathway can get you lost as to the actual place of this pathway in a more universal scale (for me anyway).
Another thing that I’ve noticed is that most of the mistakes I made with the ACER material for SI were consistently because of my failure to recognize the context of the question being asked within the entire situation of the stimuli, not just the paragraph or sentence from which it is being taken. Granted, by the time I did the ACER practice tests this year I was so mentally exhausted I barely had the energy to fling the book across the room, but after the release of GAMSAT results this year I reviewed my answers and identified this. Not a big discovery, but a discovery nonetheless.
So, where to go from here? One could be stubborn and concede that SI is genetically pre-determined and what you get is all the reasoning in humanities and social sciences you will ever achieve. Another way to take it would be to see whether the study of some economics or law, which aren’t as technical as scientific concepts (Organic Chem anyone?) but still need some familiarity, can actually encourage this ‘global’ thinking that will enable a higher score on the GAMSAT. It makes sense that SI requires this of potential candidates, as you don’t want a doctor who’s going to tell you about some anomaly within your biological makeup without thinking (i) how its going to affect your lifestyle, (ii) how its going to affect your future, and (iii) how these ramifications are going to affect you (psychologically, as well as practically; I’m thinking Type 1Diabetics and regular insulin shots?).
To remedy this, I bought an ‘economics’ textbook from a Co-Op bookshop that will act as my introduction to a subject I learned about for a brief 4 seconds in Year 11. It may put another workload on top of my Science studying and may not make a difference, but if anything at least by the end concepts like ‘Keynesian Interest Rate Theory’ will not be alien to me.
I’ve always believed that obtaining a good SI score has always been about luck; I also believe that the harder I work, the luckier I get (2012 GAMSAT study excepted). In good SII practice to back-up my contention, I will leave you with a quote from someone I have never heard of but puts what I think into a more elegant rhetoric;
“The only thing that overcomes hard luck is hard work.”
-Harry Golden
Success and nothing less.
MTC
Ps. Props to Mark Twain for the title quote, definitely a reader you should check out.
Pps. I apologise for the pretentious sign-offs I have posted, and will continue
to post on my blog.
Thursday 30 August 2012
[Insert witty Introduction title here]
This
is my first post. I know you know this is my first post, and I've essentially
wasted the first 20 words OF my first post telling you something you already
deduced. Pretty poor communication and reasoning skills, right? Maybe that's
why I didn't get a medical school interview offer.
Let me explain.
Today, or yesterday, was the 30 th of August. To many Melbournians, that marks the 177th Anniversary of Melbourne being founded by none other than Batman (JOHN Batman..I thought it was Bruce? Kidding, but still hoping my wild fantasy proved true). But for anyone applying for Post-Graduate Medical-schools for 2013, it was D-Day. You either survived the onslaught and managed to get an interview offer from the various schools that were releasing their offers (University of Wollongong, University of Notre Dame Sydney, University of Western Australia, Monash University Gippsland and probably a few others), or you got something else.
You got the dreaded GEMSAS letter of death.
GEMSAS stands for the ‘Graduate Entry Medical Schools Admissions System’ and is comprised of a consortium of medical schools in Australia (all of them sans University of Sydney) where medico hopefuls preference their post-graduate medical programs and unwittingly provide their information (a GPA and a GAMSAT score; I assume if you’re reading this blog it’s because you too are a medico hopeful and know what I’m talking about…or you just clicked on the wrong blog, for which I too apologize. You should be more careful) and allow the wonders of mathematical algorithms to decide their fate for the near future. Each school has their own GAMSAT and GPA cut-offs which is determined each year by the demand of places for that year.
I had a GAMSAT of 62/Melbourne weighted 63 (~78 th-80th Percentile) which I achieved in 2011. Not a bad score! I also had a GPA of 5.84 (Weighted), which isn’t great. I knew all this when I applied, but since last year I used the same score to apply and got an interview (not at a university I wanted) and eventually an offer (twice..but that’s another story), I assumed that having my undergraduate degree under my belt would only help my chances, so I turned it down and decided to pursue a year of research instead. The fact that I’m currently enrolled as a biomedical honours student couldn’t hurt either, right? They’d be fools not to want me! Right?
Wrong.
At approximately 2:08PM yesterday, I had just finished some trivial lab work I was using to keep myself occupied knowing very well each trip back to my laptop would either project me into an oblivion of joy and relief, or possibly send me into clinical depression. I saw a notification and thought nothing of it; probably some stupid lab member sending a pointless e-mail on whether we have any serum antibodies to spare. Then I saw the worst 18 letters any med hopeful ever wants to see during the release of interview offers; ‘GEMSAS Notification’. This was what I was dreading. This was the letter of death.
‘I f*cking knew it’.
There was something about this year that was off from the very start; matter of fact, there was something about my life SINCE I finished my undergraduate degree that’s been off-kilter. But, that’s a story for a future post. All I’ll mention now is that I studied my gluteus maximus off for the 2012 GAMSAT, hoping to improve my score. I worked diligently during any spare periods I had amidst a chaotic social and personal life, pushing myself to near exhaustion and neglecting my Honours research for the first 2 months of my year. During my time of intense studying, I’d say to myself; “you’re paying your dues, you only get out what you put in”. Apparently I didn’t notice the amounts of crap I was shovelling into my study notes, because come the 18 th of May, GAMSAT scores were released.
I got an overall score of 58.
Not only did I not improve in my Section I or Section III scores, I managed to get a worse score for my section II, a section I had previously done well on. I was disappointed but hopeful, knowing that the fine line between sanity and neurotic psychosis can be easily tread by the wrong attitude. I hoped that my GAMSAT from 2011 was enough to tide me over. Plus, I’m an honours student now. I save lives one PCR at a time! There’s no chance I’d be passed up!?!?
But I digress.
Retrospectively, this could be some kind of omnipotent being testing my mettle; do I really have the passion to do medicine? Do I really want to sacrifice my mental health and holidays by committing to a strict study regime over the summer? Or do I just take it as a sign that it’s not meant to be and move on. There’s only so long Doyle’s Law* can be a part of your medical aspirations before it takes its toll on your motivation to continue.
My first reaction upon seeing my failure personified via e-mail was all I needed to know about my motivation for medical aspirations;
“GAMSAT 2013 better be ready for me.’
I am deciding to commit to study for the 2013 GAMSAT and hopefully get a good enough score that will ensure me a place at my desired medical school, not just one that I happen to be lucky enough to get. I did mention that I studied for the 2012 GAMSAT, but there were a few factors that probably hindered my progress (more to come on that later). Assuming I finish my Honours year with the highest of honours ( referred to as a H1 which is an honours mark of >80%), I will be able to hopefully have a weighted GPA of 6.62 (not too shabby!). But to achieve that will be a laborious task in itself.
To my fellow medico hopefuls;
Congratulations on getting an interview. I know the feeling of relief and self-worth you are feeling right now, knowing you are worthy to beat about 2,000 other people for an interview. Enjoy it, because to get as far as an interview is a very big achievement.
To those who are in the same position as me, my deep, deep commiserations. I know how this feels but know this; the only people who go straight from their Undergrad to a post-graduate medical degree are not the rule, they are the exception to it. Speak to any post-graduate medical student and you’ll hear paths more twisted and contorted than the double helix of a mammalian oncogene I just PCR’ed this afternoon (#average_segue). Here’s a few cliched quotes from one of my favourite athletes, the one and only Michael Jordan, that sums up my feeling on gaining entry into medical school:
“I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”
“I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I can't accept not trying.”
Let me explain.
Today, or yesterday, was the 30 th of August. To many Melbournians, that marks the 177th Anniversary of Melbourne being founded by none other than Batman (JOHN Batman..I thought it was Bruce? Kidding, but still hoping my wild fantasy proved true). But for anyone applying for Post-Graduate Medical-schools for 2013, it was D-Day. You either survived the onslaught and managed to get an interview offer from the various schools that were releasing their offers (University of Wollongong, University of Notre Dame Sydney, University of Western Australia, Monash University Gippsland and probably a few others), or you got something else.
You got the dreaded GEMSAS letter of death.
GEMSAS stands for the ‘Graduate Entry Medical Schools Admissions System’ and is comprised of a consortium of medical schools in Australia (all of them sans University of Sydney) where medico hopefuls preference their post-graduate medical programs and unwittingly provide their information (a GPA and a GAMSAT score; I assume if you’re reading this blog it’s because you too are a medico hopeful and know what I’m talking about…or you just clicked on the wrong blog, for which I too apologize. You should be more careful) and allow the wonders of mathematical algorithms to decide their fate for the near future. Each school has their own GAMSAT and GPA cut-offs which is determined each year by the demand of places for that year.
I had a GAMSAT of 62/Melbourne weighted 63 (~78 th-80th Percentile) which I achieved in 2011. Not a bad score! I also had a GPA of 5.84 (Weighted), which isn’t great. I knew all this when I applied, but since last year I used the same score to apply and got an interview (not at a university I wanted) and eventually an offer (twice..but that’s another story), I assumed that having my undergraduate degree under my belt would only help my chances, so I turned it down and decided to pursue a year of research instead. The fact that I’m currently enrolled as a biomedical honours student couldn’t hurt either, right? They’d be fools not to want me! Right?
Wrong.
At approximately 2:08PM yesterday, I had just finished some trivial lab work I was using to keep myself occupied knowing very well each trip back to my laptop would either project me into an oblivion of joy and relief, or possibly send me into clinical depression. I saw a notification and thought nothing of it; probably some stupid lab member sending a pointless e-mail on whether we have any serum antibodies to spare. Then I saw the worst 18 letters any med hopeful ever wants to see during the release of interview offers; ‘GEMSAS Notification’. This was what I was dreading. This was the letter of death.
‘I f*cking knew it’.
There was something about this year that was off from the very start; matter of fact, there was something about my life SINCE I finished my undergraduate degree that’s been off-kilter. But, that’s a story for a future post. All I’ll mention now is that I studied my gluteus maximus off for the 2012 GAMSAT, hoping to improve my score. I worked diligently during any spare periods I had amidst a chaotic social and personal life, pushing myself to near exhaustion and neglecting my Honours research for the first 2 months of my year. During my time of intense studying, I’d say to myself; “you’re paying your dues, you only get out what you put in”. Apparently I didn’t notice the amounts of crap I was shovelling into my study notes, because come the 18 th of May, GAMSAT scores were released.
I got an overall score of 58.
Not only did I not improve in my Section I or Section III scores, I managed to get a worse score for my section II, a section I had previously done well on. I was disappointed but hopeful, knowing that the fine line between sanity and neurotic psychosis can be easily tread by the wrong attitude. I hoped that my GAMSAT from 2011 was enough to tide me over. Plus, I’m an honours student now. I save lives one PCR at a time! There’s no chance I’d be passed up!?!?
But I digress.
Retrospectively, this could be some kind of omnipotent being testing my mettle; do I really have the passion to do medicine? Do I really want to sacrifice my mental health and holidays by committing to a strict study regime over the summer? Or do I just take it as a sign that it’s not meant to be and move on. There’s only so long Doyle’s Law* can be a part of your medical aspirations before it takes its toll on your motivation to continue.
My first reaction upon seeing my failure personified via e-mail was all I needed to know about my motivation for medical aspirations;
“GAMSAT 2013 better be ready for me.’
I am deciding to commit to study for the 2013 GAMSAT and hopefully get a good enough score that will ensure me a place at my desired medical school, not just one that I happen to be lucky enough to get. I did mention that I studied for the 2012 GAMSAT, but there were a few factors that probably hindered my progress (more to come on that later). Assuming I finish my Honours year with the highest of honours ( referred to as a H1 which is an honours mark of >80%), I will be able to hopefully have a weighted GPA of 6.62 (not too shabby!). But to achieve that will be a laborious task in itself.
To my fellow medico hopefuls;
Congratulations on getting an interview. I know the feeling of relief and self-worth you are feeling right now, knowing you are worthy to beat about 2,000 other people for an interview. Enjoy it, because to get as far as an interview is a very big achievement.
To those who are in the same position as me, my deep, deep commiserations. I know how this feels but know this; the only people who go straight from their Undergrad to a post-graduate medical degree are not the rule, they are the exception to it. Speak to any post-graduate medical student and you’ll hear paths more twisted and contorted than the double helix of a mammalian oncogene I just PCR’ed this afternoon (#average_segue). Here’s a few cliched quotes from one of my favourite athletes, the one and only Michael Jordan, that sums up my feeling on gaining entry into medical school:
“I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”
“I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I can't accept not trying.”
“Obstacles
don’t have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don’t turn around and give up.
Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.”
and finally,
“Some people want it to happen, some wish it would happen, and others make it happen.”
I’m going to make my entry into medical school happen. I hope you do too.
Watch this space.
MTC
Ps. I’m sorry for the terminology I’ve used. Medical school hopefuls have their own cryptic lingo that is hard to pick up for the un-initiated. Here are a few websites that will provide some basic information on what I’ve described.
http://www.gemsas.edu.au http://www.gamsat-ie.org/gamsat-australia
*-Doyle’s Law: Should actually be written as ‘Murphy’s Law’; an adage that goes “anything that can wrong, will go wrong.” Anyone who can guess as to why I included ‘Doyle’s Law’ as opposed to the actual name, “Murphy’s” will get a gold star (shipping costs TBD).
But seriously, it’s a reference to one of my favourite movies of all time; ‘The 25 th Hour’. Here’s a clip to give the mix-up a bit of context (skip to 3:00 if you want to skip the buffer, but I suggest watching it. Amazing movie); http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gD22Ae3kHLY.
Enjoy!
and finally,
“Some people want it to happen, some wish it would happen, and others make it happen.”
I’m going to make my entry into medical school happen. I hope you do too.
Watch this space.
MTC
Ps. I’m sorry for the terminology I’ve used. Medical school hopefuls have their own cryptic lingo that is hard to pick up for the un-initiated. Here are a few websites that will provide some basic information on what I’ve described.
http://www.gemsas.edu.au http://www.gamsat-ie.org/gamsat-australia
*-Doyle’s Law: Should actually be written as ‘Murphy’s Law’; an adage that goes “anything that can wrong, will go wrong.” Anyone who can guess as to why I included ‘Doyle’s Law’ as opposed to the actual name, “Murphy’s” will get a gold star (shipping costs TBD).
But seriously, it’s a reference to one of my favourite movies of all time; ‘The 25 th Hour’. Here’s a clip to give the mix-up a bit of context (skip to 3:00 if you want to skip the buffer, but I suggest watching it. Amazing movie); http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gD22Ae3kHLY.
Enjoy!
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